Lets pretend that it has not been 10 days since my last post. Our ability to pretend is a very, very precious ability, that is often underestimated. As we grow older, it gets harder. So we are going to do a special exercise, where we practice our pretending abilities. pretend away everyone!!!!
Working just 2-3 days a week has been taking its toll on me. I sure am bored. Until I start training on the 14th, I’m pretty much sedentary. Aside from watching TV, eating, obsessing over my tortoises and playing Bingo on the iPad, I’ve done nothing. Dont get me wrong, I like it. But I cant go like this too much longer. Thank goodness I’m booked for the next 3 days.
Yesterday I went to the doctor for my fasting blood test. The results were already up online, and unfortunately, everything was normal. Boooooooooring. Even my cholesterol was normal. Now when I go for my physical in 2 weeks, we’ll have nothing to talk about. I’m SOOO thankful! But so bored.
Time to go read a book!!
Have a great rest of your week everybody! I know its long for many, its the first full 5 day week that we’ve had for a while. But tomorrow is already Hump Day! Happy Happy Almost Hump Day.
Just started watching this show on Netflix. I’m so hooked. I really suck at TV commitment, aside from the Walking Dead, I hardly watch anything. So this says something. I’m completely in love!
My tortoise ate food today!! He opened his eyess, walked around and munched grass and lettuce. I’m so excited.
tortoiseforum.org is a life-saver. I found the recipe for the Electrolyte soak here, and that probably saved his life. Thanks TFO!!!
Today I pretty much did nothing. Which is nice. I like doing nothing. I read, played with my iPad, took a nap, played with my dog, made a new soaking formula for my sick tortoise (got him to open his eyes!), and had a gourmet homemade dinner with the rents.
This morning I got up and went to the information meeting for CASA. It was awesome!!! I start intense training on the 14th. I cant wait!!!!! I’ve been working on my application, and need to write an autobiography. Can I just send them my blog? lol.
A couple of days ago, I read something about Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS0 causing irritation of the skin.. as well as disrupting the acid layer that protects the face. I tried cutting out sulfur altogether; and I already see a huge difference in just 2 days. All of my skin, from my feet to my face, has improved already. A couple of years ago, I started using toothpaste that didn’t have SLS in it, because I had been getting constant canker sores, and read about that weird ingredient sometimes causing issues. I NEVER get sores now. They are a thing of the past.
I had no idea that the same stuff was in virtually every shampoo and soap, and I’ve been suffering from terrible complexion for years. I thought poor skin would be something I’d grow out of as I surpassed my teenage years, but the zits kept coming. Did you know SLS is the second ingredient in almost every shampoo, body wash and hand soap? Its not in the acne wash that I’d been using; just so happens that face wash is the only one that (kind of) works. And my acne is pretty much all on the sides of my face, where my hair falls. Shampoo. Sulfate. Acne, OH!
Now if I could just learn to stop leaning my chin on my hands and stop picking at my face compulsively, I might just have clear skin some day. Maybe.
Here’s a fun pic of chewy’s taco tongue, for good measure.
Sometimes life just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, and today was one of those days. After a night filled with nightmares, beeping phones, malfunctioning smoke detectors and a non-sleeping puppy, I woke up to find that one of my tortoises had passed. If you read my post from yesterday, you wouldn’t find this as a surprise because I saw it coming. But not this one. The tortoise that died today was my healthy baby tortoise. He was thriving extraordinarily, eating, always walking around and always wide-eyed. But this morning he was completely lifeless. It was kind of like a nightmare, he picked up his head, opened his mouth and seemed like he’d come back to life after I had put him under his basking bulb; but then he went limp again. It doesn’t make any sense at all. While I was at work, my dad said that he was alive, he’d seen him move. But when I came home, he was clearly gone.
This is him recently. A beautiful baby Sulcata tortoise with a perfect shell, and all four legs. He was supposed to grow to up to 100lbs, and he was going to be my permanent, organic, gas-saving lawn mower.
I have to remind myself that I’ve done all I can, but I really just feel guilty. I’ve never felt so guilty in my life. By bringing these tortoises home, I made a commitment to keep them healthy and alive. And somehow, I’ve failed. And I don’t even know how.
In the mean time, my sick baby tortoise is still refusing food, and I don’t even have the heart to try and force him to take water today. I had been using a dropper to at least get something in him every day. But what if I’m simply prolonging his suffering by doing so?
My tortoise track record is terrible. They are (or were) my hobby, I’ve always loved turtles; but I think I’m done. No more tortoise raising for me. I had a desert tortoise stolen, and soon I will have 3 little graves for baby tortoises that I couldn’t raise. THREE. Yes, they were all from the same breeder whom I met on Craigslist. They could have just all been ill. But… seriously. Ugh. Last year, I tried to rescue 5 water turtles that I found through Craigslist, of which I got ONE to live; but he turned out evil, petrified of humans and now lives by himself in a pond of a guy with a big enough heart to take my monster. (He nearly took the tip of my finger before I decided to rehome him).
I do still have one “healthy” Sulcata left, my three-legged tortoise, Mercury, who has somehow survived through my tortoise jinx. He’s cool, and I’ll survive if he’s my one and only. Maybe that’s just how it always should have been in the first place.
On a less depressing note, it’s Friday. At least I can just kick back and relax, and get some sleep to make up for last night. Tomorrow, I’m going to try to go to the CASA information meeting. I was going to wait until Tuesday night to go, but I’m depressed and think that starting something new and exciting might be a good idea. If I cant save tortoises, maybe I can help my own kind; kids.
I had a good time at work today. Shayne and Aidan are such adorable kids. We really get along well, playing with them is just so easy and fun. At the park today, I had a blast helping Shayne master doing flips on “the bar”, and swinging across the playground on the monkey bars. She’s also been sliding down poles and making friends with everyone she meets. I loooove being their advocates, magically appearing when I spot a mean kid or a trouble child; being there for them just makes me feel whole. I love kids, because I know they will never take a person for granted. I’m a giving person, and I feel safe giving my all to kids; because I know they wont be nice to me just for the sake of benefiting more. Kids dont learn how to do that until they get much older. I know I shouldn’t worry about what people think of me, and I normally don’t, but kids (and my boyfriend) are the only ones that I can fart, scream, laugh and play with, without a single worry on what they think. That’s partly why I’m so stoked for CASA.
Another interesting thing in my life is my ant farm. My brother got me one for Christmas. I’ve always wanted one, since I was a toddler and saw him with his own. I finally got one, and its been really fun watching them dig tunnels and stuff. One problem, however, is that they came in packaging that warned over and over that they STING and can be very dangerous. They are done digging tunnels, and now they are spending all of their free time chewing on the seal corners of the lid. This morning when I woke up to silence my alarm, there was an ant crawling on my phone. Naturally, I assumed the worst and jumped out of bed faster than I ever have, and practically threw my phone across the room. I ran over to the other side of my room where the ant farm is and verified that there was indeed no breach, they were all sealed safe inside; But I have decided that my pet ants and their lovely home need to be relocated. I think I’m afraid of ants now.
One of my nightmares last night was really interesting. There was a HUGE storm and I was safe inside watching it. It was so severe, that there was a universal warning beep going off outside (which turned out to have been my smoke detector…).
I actually didn’t even consider it a nightmare until I woke up. During the actual dream, I thought it was awesome. In real life, a storm like that one would have destroyed Orange County, but in the moment I was really really excited watching my mom’s wind toys blowing away. I was even blogging about it.
I think that sums it up. Thanks for reading, and even if you didn’t, I dont mind. I love writing. Its freeing, and makes me smile. :) Right now I feel much MUCH better than I did before I wrote this. Its sooo neat to put all of my thoughts and day’s events down in writing. Actually, life makes a little more sense now. Maybe.
Dog’s home and asleep, I’m back to babysitting and keeping busy. Life seems to be back on schedule!
My biggest worry now is trying to nurse one of my baby tortoises to health. (1 of 2 babies that reside in my room in the most spoiled, plush and perfect enclosure.) It’s upsetting, it stopped eating and drinking, and isn’t evening opening its eyes. I’ve been using a dropper to try and get some fluids in him, but I’m having hardly any luck, the little shit wont open its mouth. I had this problem before with a tortoise, and it ended up dying the day after I took it to the vet. I’ve decided to save the money and trouble and just do my best to save it. I cant afford the $200, the time, or the heartbreak. I feel like a terrible tortoise owner, as though I’ve done something wrong; but I feel like I’ve done everything. I have meds from the last tortoise fiasco, vitamins, special food that I order online, lettuce growing outside, humidity, 80-100 degrees enclosure… I’ve done endless research to get everything up to speed, but I guess it’s just never enough. The breeder I got these tortoises from sucked, he was cheap, trashy and .. I’ll stop. It could be some sort of disease that possibly spread from the first one that died.. in which case its only a matter of time for my healthy tortoises. Such a bust, but oh well. I’ve tried, and I’m still trying. Such is life.
I want to go to San Diego this weekend to visit my sister. I was going to go for New Years, but I was still too sick. Now that I’m better, and havevfree weekends at the moment, I’d really like to go. But I’d have to bring Sicky Tortoise, and I’d have to leave Cone Head behind. I’m sure Cone Head would be fine, but I’m the one that misses him and hates to be without him. I really want to go tho. I haven’t seen my San Diego family since LAST YEAR!!!!
I suppose I have a decision to make!
On another note, I already received my information packet from CASA, the volunteer organization that I want to be a part of. I’ll be attending an information session on Tuesday night next week! :)